"How
is the truth to be told?" -Gwendolyn Brooks
A Surplus
of Days … Commentary on my Remixed Trailer Park Fragments
Looking
at the photos of my grandparents' trailer park outside of Springfield, MO, I notice
the sun comes down gauzy yellow, touching everything with slow fingers.
Even
though I wasn't born into that flat and bare aluminum place, I find myself soaking
it up through the memory syringes of my sister and brother. They yanked rocks
from the tough Midwest ground as my dad helped drill the septic tank and swore
to high hell like the south Chicago teenagers he left behind in 1958. I can feel
the gravity of my grandfather's voice, his mean mouth, the nightly whiskey he
swirled in his Church of Jesus Christ Scientist teeth. The last of my great-grandfather's
bubblegum patent money went down the drain in that Missouri heat, in tornado alley
and steel bathtub jitters.
The memories don't jet across 40 years like
a spry butterfly or sudden inhale but instead gather round like a reservoir filled
with infant light. Somewhere my aunt gathered her Aqua Net cans, my uncle looked
at used cars before running off to the GE factory, and Mom drove the kids to the
roller skating rink and let them touch the hot dogs. Meanwhile, Dad reluctantly
sold insurance and tried not to think about the fat flying roaches he left behind
in El Paso while cleaning toilets in the army.
These Polaroids, which my
parents used to wave in the humid afternoons to dry, both unzip the past and shield
it like not-so-clean ice. If you lean into them, if you linger for a moment in
their chemical skin, you can feel the nightshades and thighs, the nearby cow skull
pastures and five cent Ike and Tina Turner records, rust bellied cars and my brother's
first charcoal nudes…
Everything is in therethe bleach and sparrows,
telephones and Ed Sullivan. The truth is caught between flickers of sun on that
naked campground, between the ragtag trees that ring the trailers, like huge green
moths bunched together. The poems are ways to survive the surplus of days that
unspool from that place.
Trailer
Park Fragments © 2009 David Ensminger. Pieces
originally published in Stirring, BlazeVOX, and NOÖ Journal. Navigate by clicking
pictures to the left.
